the life and times of sherrena by sherrena

This life and time story happened when I worked at the nursing home….No, I don’t call it a care center or a convalescent home, I call it what people use to call it before things changed. A Nursing Home. I was an aide for over 25 years. No I never felt the need to be a nurse because I always assumed that my “real” job would come along soon and I could get away from all the sickness. I can’t tell you how bad I hate germs…So when the chance came up for me to work in the crazy unit I jumped on it… Most of those people weren’t sick with germs… just mental problems. I went to school for a few months and learned how to deal with things and then I was ready. The first day I walked through those glass locked doors I was a little scared. As soon as they shut I felt like I was in another world…even though I could look out the glass doors and see the rest of the nursing home, inside there, was a whole different ball of wax. The aide on duty came up to me and said she was glad to see me… I just smiled as I smelled all the strange smells that were going on. We took the little tour of the wing and she explained to me what side of the hall I was working on and told me what time the food came …and then she walked away. Around me, patients were walking up and down the hall. Some looking at the floor with there head turned sideways and some muttering to them selves. My heart was breaking… I had never seen old people this way. All the old people I knew were regular people….just older….This was completely different. I went to the shower list that was hanging on the wall and started writing down names. I had 3 names on my paper when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around expecting to see the other aide but instead I huge man stood there. I’m only 5’3. He was close to 6’5. So hence the word HUGE. He wasn’t really looking at me….maybe something behind me or beside me but he reached his hand out again and tugged my sleeve. I swallowed a lump the size of a pine cone and stuck my hand out as if to shake his…. I said…. “I’m Sherrena… nice to meet you Sir.” but he only looked down at my hand…I started to feel a little nervous… Then I looked up and down to get the full scope of him….and I saw he wasn’t wearing and britches. No underwear either. Only a nice shirt and an expensive looking pair of shoes. He started to rub his hand through his hair from the back to the front and his teeth raked at his bottom lip… The smile never left my face but inside I was churning. His other hand reached out and his fingers tapped the thumb of my extended hand and he said….. “You got a Cadillac? My daddy gots a Cadillac…. It’s blue.” I felt all the nerves in me relax a bit and I responded with a no but I would like to see his daddy’s Cadillac someday. He then walked away… his rear end all exposed. I watched his slow shuffle away from me and felt so much pity. By the grace of God go I. …. Turns out that fella lived on my side of the hall. I got to know him pretty good as I dressed him every hour on the hour. (He couldn’t seem to wear his pants). Day’s turned into weeks and weeks into months. I noticed how different these people were treated and how they were looked upon by the OTHER nursing home residents. The doors to the hall way were locked but that didn’t stop some of our people escaping from time to time. This pretty much only happened during visiting hours… Someone would come to visit, unlock the door with the code and a “normal” looking crazy person would hold the door open for them…smiling and nodding there head politly and then walk right out… At which time they are free to wonder the building and to converse with the other residents… That’s how we would find out… The sane ones would scream… “ One of them are out!” You would have thought it was some insane killer on the loose the way they would put on. We would go round the person up and bring them home… Some times this took both aides working on the hall… it was rare that they would come back without a fight. I have been punched kicked and bitten….. Yes, and sometimes all three at the same time… The best you can do is duck and try to get behind them to casualy ease them in the right direction… but it was always an embarresment to me…

One day on my way to work I stopped in at the donut shop… I got a huge apple fritter and as I was walking away the Chinese lady called me back and ask me to take a few boxes of donuts with me to work… At first I was thinking….Is that lady trying to be smart and tell me in a round about way I’m to fat to eat donuts! Instead I asked why and she said she read my name tag and her “Mommy” ( husbands mother ) lived at the place where I worked… She remarked that she had never seen me and was I new…. I smiled and said no I worked in the locked unit and HER smile left her face. Needless to say the donuts were a big hit… To every one except Rita. Rita didn’t talk much and I guess she was about 70 years old… She was a bit taller than me but I think it’s safe for me to say I out weighed her by fifty pounds. I say that because I always had to watch behind me… Most of the time Rita would be standing there glaring at my back…She watched as I passed the donuts and a napkin to the residents that had gathered around me… When I was finished I walked over to her and held one out to her … Her eyes narrowed and what looked like a crooked smile crossed her mouth as she slapped it from my hand. (No way was I going to bend down and pick that up! This felt like a set up!) I stood there for only a moment and then as I walked away I stepped flat on the donut… I felt it squish under my foot… It had been red berry. My foot print had told me that… As I walked away she screamed for me to come back and clean that mess up off the floor…. Instead I called the janitor and watched as he came to clean it up… As we walked down the hall she came out of her room holding a green plastic coffee cup…. “Didn’t I tell you to clean that up?” She said through clenched teeth….The janitor had already bent down to pick up the big part of the donut as I faced her… What happened next, as I look back on it, seems to be something that could have been avoided if I had just NOT stepped on that donut! I watched as her lips turned white and her face contorted into a wild snarling dogs…. I whispered to the janitor to hurry up…. And that’s when she raised that hard plastic cup and hurled it at my head… I stepped out of the way as I was yelling “LOOK OUT!” but for the janitor it was too late…As he looked up that cup caught him right on his eyebrow. For a split second I thought he had been lucky….. But that was not the case…. He lowered his head as his hand came up and then there was blood all over the floor… I dared not look away from Rita… She was walking towards us now and for the life of me I had no idea why I stepped between her and the janitor. I think because I knew he couldn’t see and maybe through all the stars Rita would hurt him bad… I pressed the panic button around my neck but know one came…. The other aide was off the hall taking the breakfast dishes back to the kitchen… The Janitor was cussing now and that seemed to anger her even more… again I pressed the panic button but by that time she had reached me and her hands had grabbed my uniform… she had a good grip on me slammed me up against the wall behind us… My hands were around her wrists trying to keep them in my uniform and not my face… Then the janitor got up and pulled her off me… as soon as I was loose I ran for that door and she was running behind me… and that’s when I saw the other aide coming back… she was punching in the combination to the door… It felt like a monster was behind me and fixing to catch me at any moment…I was about five feet from it as it came open and I ran past the aide … “ The janitor is hurt and needs help!” I said as I ran past the nurse on duty…. I ran all the way to the smoking area and sat down . My hands were shaking and I felt sick….A lot of things were going through my head at that moment…things like…. OH MY GOD! OLD PEOPLE CAN KILL YOU TOO!… This freaking job sucks!…..I have to quit!….and so on and so on… I smoked a cigarette and then went back to my unit… I was looking through the glass for Rita as I punched the code in… I still felt a little sick… My stomach was churning… I went in and walked down the hall and saw that Rita’s door was closed…The blood had been cleaned up and I decided that I would get back to work….. It seems to me that sometimes…. And I say again, sometimes… when people get older they return to the child they once were… The mind never grows old….so to me this was a little confusing… How could these old people be so different that the others? I was wondering that as I led Cadillac man to the shower… He already had his britches off so he was half way there anyway… He stood there as I soaped him up… After so many showers your mind stops seeing them as naked old men and old women. Instead you just see your work in front of you… I guess like a doctor does but on a much lower scale….I was scrubbing his back as my mind was hating my job… then from out of know where he turned around and said…. “You remember when Daddy use to take us for a drive in his Cadillac?” I looked up at him and smiled…. He smiled back and said … “ I’m sure glad you’re here with me momma.” I felt tears on my face and I looked down really quick so he wouldn’t see them….and against all my training I said “ Me too” …

Rita continued to follow me around… Sure I complained but what could they do?… Rita was crazy and I had to be the one to leave and I wasn’t about to do that… So I learned to live with it… And so did Rita. At least I got to go home… And she reminded me of that one day…. “ You come in to my house and I never get to go to yours….” She said with a snarl…. Of course I DIDN’T SAY THIS but I was thinking it…. Good thing too Rita cause you just might burn the place down !…. I guess there has to be one bad apple in every bunch…and Rita took that place…. And if there’s a bad one then it’s only fare to talk about the shinny beautiful red one…. And her name was Mary. Mary was so tiny that I could pick her up like a baby and set her in her little wheel chair. She always giggled and laughed and at first I thought a mistake had been made and Mary should have been on the other side of the glass…. But after reading Mary’s chart and getting to know her, I learned that she was right where she belonged. They had put her behind the glass because she seemed to take things that didn’t belong to her. Her drawers would be full of jewelry and food. Not to mention several men’s wallets and assorted ladies purses ( she had even stole dentures ) Some of the families had called the police and the problem was solved with the shutting of the glass door. She would not admit to taking any thing but she had been caught with the goods… I asked her once why she did such a thing…. Her answer?…. “ I don’t know what your talking about sweety.” And she smiled a sweet smile. I loved looking after her. She wore make up and I liked to put it on for her… We would talk and laugh and she would tell me about her sweet Jack….. And then one day she died. Her last breath had been to call out for her beloved Jack… and then she was gone. I stood there a moment holding her hand and then I layed it on the bed beside her.. As I pulled the door closed behind me I saw Rita standing by the soda Machine… Her face was white and her mouth trembled… “ Their coming to get Mary aint they?” …. I wanted to say No…. But instead I shook my head yes. I have always wondered why the less deserving are left here to wonder among us but the good are taken away. I was wondering that as I looked at Rita that day….. “They” had been the funeral home… And know one ever wanted to see them… I guess it reminded people of there own trip that they would soon be taking….