this whole week has been re-runs... Hope No one minds....

This one is called.... " Don't play with guns kids"

This next post of the life and times of sherrena is from around the same time as the choking incident...Remember ...I was sharing a house with my brother, boyfriend/husband now, and Bubby...My brother's old room mates had went on to marry girls and one had even got an art job in California so that left 2 room's open. They were quickly filled up by my husband's brother and My dad's work helper Randy. I will save Randy's story for next blog....You will wonder about him for the rest of your life...I do...lol...and I really would like to forget him.

My brother and my husband's brother quickly became friends. They were the same age and enjoyed the same things like drinking and chasing girls on the weekends. They even shared the same name..Johnny...Well one day my brother had got a rubber band gun from the yard sale next door and while his new budddy, my to be brother in law, wasnt looking he shot him in the back of the neck with a rubber band. The look on both of their faces was something I can't explain..the "shot"Johnny was holding his neck and the "shooter" Johnny was trying to utter a weak apology..I knew something bad was brewing but it hadnt boiled over yet.."You Fucker!" was pretty much all he said. I was thinking at the time that my little brother sure got off easy because my brother in law bad been about 2 feet taller than him and I knew if it came down to a fight my brother would lose. So later that night I was trying to cook on a gas stove made for outside while I was "INSIDE"...yes I know coleman doesnt recommend this...matter of fact I read the lable that told me NOT to do it..But who wants to be seen cooking on a coleman at home?...Well there I was, in the kitchen with the out door cooker going when my brother came in and was washing his hands at the sink. I saw my brother in law come in but he had his finger to his lips. He was sneaking up behind my brother and he had made it all the way behind him. The rubber band gun was pulled back as far as it would go...and the barrel was almost touching my brothers neck..I braced myself for what was about to happen....and POW!!!!!!!!...It happened...My brother was so startled that he wipped around and his hand caught the edge of that coleman stove!..It went flying into the floor and a blaze of fire shot up 4 feet high!...They were locked in a head lock with each other so I started screeming for my husband...He came but by that time the stove was engulfed in flames and he couldnt pick it up!...He yelled for me to open the door and like a foot ball he kicked it as hard as he could. It went sailing past me and out into the drive way were it continued to burn. My husband came back in and looked at Johnny and Johnny who were still wrestling..and it wasnt for fun either...My husband asked what happened and I said ..."rubber band gun"...and he knodded and we went to watch TV.

Little Sherrena in 1969........

Another re-run of the life and times of sherrena... this ones called... "Bob's wooden circus"

Bob was a friend of my dad’s back in the 70’s…. They had been in his CB club together… I remember him for a few reasons other than the fact that he had a daughter near my age with buck teeth and they lived right around the corner from us. I never really knew what he did for a living but he had a few Irons’ in the fire… They were nice people but something was a bit off about them. His wife reminded me of an Ugly version of Loretta Lynn…. She had extra high cheek bones that made her look like a scary puppet in a nightmare…. And a blond afro. Her daughter was the mirror image of her except her teeth looked like she could eat an apple through a tennis racket and her hair was strait…. I remembered that I had NOT wanted to be friends with her at first… When you’re a kid you seem to know the importance of not drawing a lot of attention to your self if you don’t quite seem to fit in to the “norm” of things and SHE drew a lot of attention… Needless to say we became friends. Ever day after school I would go over to their house and she and I would play in the garage… One day I came across an old chest… As I removed old magazines and junk from the top I could just make out the face of a clown… My hand swiped away the dust and I could read the word CIRCUS on it…. I called her over and asked what it was… She then told me it was a circus her dad had carved out of wood…. My fingers went strait to the latches and she stopped me… she told me her dad NEVER let her play with it…. I then said I just wanted to SEE it… she wouldn’t budge! Now to a 9 years old child that is just UNREAL! The days turned into weeks and my thoughts were consumed with that trunk. I wanted to open it! Ever day after school I went to her house… Every day I ask her….. Every day she said NO! …. Then one day I showed up and was told she was at the dentist…. I was told to wait out in the garage for her….. I stood there in front of that trunk…. I wasted no time thinking about it…. My fingers went right to the latches. It opened up and I smelled a fowl odor….. Inside was little boxes field with tiny wood figurines… my hand went in and I picked up a carved elephant… Even to a child it was beautiful…. The whole circus was there down to the tents…. He had even carved little men with shovels to clean up after the animals…. Again my hand went in and this time I came out with a clown…. My fingers caressed the smooth baggy pants and then I heard a car pull up on the other side of the garage door that was closed. As I looked up scared my fingers curled around the clown and I heard a pop…. I looked down in shock at my hand…. My mouth hung open as I looked down at my palm and the clown now missing a head…. I did have the since to close and lock the trunk back before anyone came in but the clown went in my pocket. I hadn’t wanted to steal it! But I couldn’t put it back like it was! I made some excuse to go home when she came in because I couldn’t stand the thought of the clown in my pocket…. I thought that if I could just fix it and put it back then no one would be the wiser… As I sat in my room with the Elmer’s glue trying to put the head back on my older brother came in and saw the clown…. “OH MY GOD! THAT’S BOB’S CIRCUS CLOWN!” He said….. He then told me how he had seen the whole circus sat up about 5 years ago at the library in our town…. How it had been roped off and signs around it saying not to touch it…. I looked down at the tiny clown and said that I had seen a lot of clowns in the trunk…he wouldn’t miss one! Then my brother took the headless clown from me and explained that Bob had numbered them as he turned it over and showed me!… It was then that I began to cry… My brother, instead of consoling me told me I was fucked….. That there was no way I was going to be able to fix it and even if I did how was I going to put it back!…. I never thought of taking this problem to my Dad! I believe that would have just compounded the problem…. After some intensive surgery I finally got the head to stay on…. I found an old electric shaver box and I put him inside of it, laying on a bed of Kleenex he made the trip back over there with me the next day in my doll pack ( back pack full of dolls)… I don’t know what made me think I would be alone long enough to put him back…. Truth is I never got to open it again… when I figured this out 3 months later I decided to put that shaver box in the ground like a casket…. To have a little funeral for him and then the guilt would go away…. It didn’t… I stopped being friends with Bob’s daughter after that… she called a lot asking me over but the guilt of that clown was too much for me…. When I was 15 they sat the circus back up at the library and I made the trip to see it… It was huge and covered 2 pieces of ply wood and the ring announcer stood there in the center ring like a real man…. My eyes traveled down to the clowns and I felt sick…. That’s when Bobs daughter came over to me and said hello…. I turned around on her and from out of NO where I said louder than I meant to… “ Why wouldn’t you open this and let me see it when we played in your garage!?” The anger on my face took her back a bit…. “ Well look at it.” she said. “ It’s not toys for kids to play with”….. I turned back around to look at it….. Then I saw…. It wasn’t a huge toy!… It was the hard life’s work of a man…. And I had ruined it…. Well in my mind I had…. I wanted to tell her then… Why I had stopped being her friend and what I had done while she was at the dentist, but I couldn’t….. I wouldn’t. Later after I got to be about 30 I found out Bob had died and the rumor was that he had donated his circus and it had went to the Smithsonian Institution…. I made a bee line back to where I had put that clown in the ground but I couldn’t find it… Serves me right… Now 31 years have passed since that day in the garage alone with that circus… And I remember it like it was yesterday… How in one brief after noon , I had ruined a man’s life work and destroyed a friend ship over thinking of myself… I wonder now about that circus and how many children have looked at it and wished that they could touch it… Just to hold one of those clowns or animals in there tiny hand…(smiling)… Ah but we know that would be a mistake, don’t we?…

I've posted this before so this is a re-run.... It's called " I thought family ment mom and dad"...................Ok...I was in this truck stop in Texas...I had used the truck drivers radio before he got off the freeway and another truck pulled to the side of the road and I did a switch..I finaly made it to Ft. Worth. I had planed on calling my brother to come pick me up but I met Butch over by the pay phone. He was a cowboy. Twice my age. The moment I saw him I knew that I would be taking a ride with him....A long ride. An 11 month ride. One that I would remember for the rest of my life. We had good times...no bad one's. He taught me how to drive and we spent a lot of time going to sale barns in the middle of the night to pick up cow's. That's what he did...he drove a cow truck. This might be a bit personal to tell but he had 3 nut's. You know.....guy's usualy only have 2 so I asked him about it once. He told me he had been standing above the cattle run..(the shoot the cattle are loaded with)...and a horn had hooked him right between the legs!...dang...that had to have hurt huh?....Well time went on and it came to Christmas time and he told me that he had to go home this time for Christmas...He wanted to know if I too had family to go too. We had never talked of family...strange as I look back on it now...but our world was inside the cab of his truck...He and I....living life like there wasnt a tomorrow. I told him I did have family and asked where his lived...he told me Austin. Then he told me something that broke my heart in 20 pieces...I know becasue I counted them for nearly 15 years. He told me that his wife and daughter would be glad to see him after almost a year. I swollowed a big lump and smiled. I let him drop me off in Waco...I couldn't bare to go home....I got out at a truck stop just like I had got in...And I watched him drive away until I couldnt see his truck anymore...This time I didn't have the heart to ask for a ride anywhere...I picked up my bag and went into the dinner and sat down to eat...I asked for A job before I left and got it...I slept in the truck stop next door in there TV room for trucker's in a chair for a week before I had enough money to get a room...He came back....But it was to tell me that he loved me....and that he would alway's.....again I swollowed a lump and smiled....then we spent one last night together....then he was gone....I think of him a lot...He would be 60 now...I dont care...I will love him forever.....and forever is a long time isnt it?.....