Launa left 23 minuets ago…. I didn’t cry… I was proud of myself for that… Looking around my living room, It looks extremely empty… as well as my heart…Launa would not say goodbye to me… I said it to HER, I bet 10 times but she just looked at me and whined a little…She would not wave good bye to me either… She tried to pull out her toys as I tried to put them in a bag for her too take with her… And like me, she didn’t cry either when she left… Only her mother cried. I told her she could stay… I told her she should come home…. As a last minuet resort sort of tactic. She just ignored me…. Her father had been a dumb ass too…. He had been 10 years my senior at the time I was 19 years old and I remember that it had been ME that had kept our family going at the time… not that dumb ass…. It’s hard for me to believe that I ever married him to start out with…My daughter asked me the year he died if I had ever loved her father… I felt that I should be truthful about it so I said NO…. And that was the truth… I married him because my mother TOLD me too! Well she didn’t TELL me too… but she sure as hell hinted around to it! I left out the part to my daughter how she had been only a wife’s duty to her husband… I had never wanted to sleep with that BOZO! (Please don’t let me get a jinx from talking about the dead…)… I had married him and it took all of one year for me to get sick of looking at his face…. The day that broke the camels back happened when he came home from work with his buddy drunk as hell…. It had been on a Friday…. I looked at him and wanted to be sick… he stood propped against the refrigerator looking at me with eyes cocked like a pistol.… I wanted to slap his face but instead said, through clenched teeth, for him to give me his paycheck…. He looked at me for a second with one eye trying to make me stop spinning but I purposely swayed back and forth…. Remember? I grew up with drinkers…. I can make a grown man suffer if I wanted too… He then told me, matter -of-fact, that he and his buddy had stopped off on the way home from work to get a blow job down on Rosedale St. in Ft. Worth!…. I was speechless as he told, while he was getting his, that she, the whore, had reached into his pocket and stolen his whole CASHED PAYCHECK!….It was about that moment that he picked the wrong time to start laughing…. I was screaming you stupid son-of-a-bitch as both my hands curled in his hair…. I drug him stumbling to the front door and to this day I have no idea how I had the strength to make his feet leave the floor…. But they did… and I flung him out the front door slamming and locking it… He laid out there long enough for the law to come… I saw them take him off and I did nothing to help him… He must have hit his head when he landed out there in the yard because by the time he got home he LOOKED beat to hell…. But all that I had done was throw him out by the hair…. I felt no pity for him as he sat at the table telling me how sorry he was…. This time I was looking at him like I had smelt something nasty… and it was raping my nose…. I asked him if he had money for food… He told me that he didn’t…I told him to get out…. He still sat there…. I picked up the phone and asked him if he wanted me to call the law…. He said he didn’t and asked me where he could sleep… I told him in the garage…. NO I had NEVER loved that idiot! Who comes home and tells their wife they stopped off for a blow job?!… And lives to tell about it? He did live another 20 years though…. And the way he died? Well that was befitting of the way he lived…. He died while riding his bicycle and there on the curb of some lonely street he breathed his last breath… A man mowing his lawn had tried to save him but he couldn’t….. The medical examiner said it had been a heart attack… He never got to see Launa… I never really “hated” him or anything… I never wanted him to die…but when he did….I felt nothing… disbelief, I guess, if anything…. Oh well……….