I sipped sweet tea and sat on my porch outside yesterday… The birds were singing and my husband was mowing with his riding lawn mower…. Every once in awhile he would call my name for me to watch him pop a wheelie…. If you’ve never seen a guy do that on a lawn mower you’re missing out. I laughed until my side hurt….

I want to say before I post this next story that the language and name calling is NOT made up…. And that the views expressed are NOT my own, I’m just repeating what I heard on that day….. I have also changed the names to protect the guilty… and after you read this story you will see why that was a MUST! The day started with the sheriff pulling up out front… He honked his horn because Big Easy “looks” mean but truth is all his teeth are mostly gone…. I went out and told them they could get out and we stood there talking…. They told me that Dr. Bay, who boarded her horses in our stable, wanted to come pick up her horses and tack and she wanted to bring her trainer ,who my Uncle in law had run off a few days before… This had all came about because my father in law owned this place before us… this had been his business…. When he died we had to close everything and things that were not tied down started walking away….. This angered my father in law’s twin brother…. He reacted by coming over and stopping all the packing and screamed …. “All you Nigger’s get the hell out of here!”…. This was met with a scattering of men that jumped in there vehicles and beat a path off the property….. Now Dr. Bay is a fine woman… And her horses and tack had not been moved yet before Uncle came down and ran everybody off…. She called the sheriff and tried to handle it the right way…. My husband was in the bottoms cutting a tree down…. I could see him way off on the other side of the hay field… I told them I wasn’t the boss but I didn’t see anything wrong with it…. They left and about 10 minuets later three huge trucks with horse trailers attached pulled up…. They stopped out front and Dr. Bay got out and we shook hands and she explained to me that there was NO way that she could handle those horses her self… I saw the trainer’s hands even shaking as he loaded those snorting monster’s into the trailer’s….. My husband pulled up and also told the doctor that it was ok for her to be there and he even tried to help… It was then that I looked up and saw Uncles truck turning into the drive way too fast… the rear end fish tailing as he brought it back onto the pavement…He pulled up to a screeching hault, blocking the front truck so that no one could leave… I stepped back against the barn….He jumped from his truck and wielding a stick he yelled…. “I thought I told all you Nigger’s to get the Hell out of here!”… Uncle is 70 years old. Those men didn’t like being called a nigger but they had not said a word against him out of respect…. This time though they did not scatter… they stood there with the doctor. It was then that I told my husband that she had asked the sheriff and I had said she could come. My husband then tried to reason with his Uncle but he wouldn’t listen… He ran to the back of one of there trucks and tried to unload there wheel barrel that he thought was ours… Screaming like a crazy man… It was then that the doctor tried to call the police but the old man jumped down and grabbed her cell phone from her…. He then told the doctor that he believed that she had to be the ugliest women he had ever seen…. He then said she looked like a little man wearing pink lip stick…She began to cry … When her trainer saw this he no longer thought of respecting Uncle… He raised his long black finger and pointed it at Uncle…. “You done went too far now you old son-of-a-bitch!”… He said as my husband took the doc’s cell phone from his uncle and was trying to give it back to her… “The hell I have! Get off this property! I told all you Nigger’s to get out of here!”… The doc took her cell phone and got in her truck… “I aint no nigger you old white headed cracker! How dare you talk to Miss Rene’ like that!”….. My husband had moved around in front of uncle and was holding him back…. He started yelling for everyone to just get in there trucks…. As all this was going on other family members started arriving equipped with video camera’s….. More names were called as the trucks pulled off the property and one parked by the road…. “ I’m calling the Law on you, you old Bastard!” the trainer yelled at Uncle from the road as he stood 200 yards away at the barn…. “Hey? Aint you the doctor’s nigger? Well she just pulled off and you better get on after her!” Uncle shot back…. Uncle felt he had a right to be the boss of everything since his brother had made him executor of his will… that meant he said who came and went…. He lived across town and my step daughter had told him while he was on the phone that we were at the barn with the doctor…. He had made it here in record time….. “I know where you live Cracker!”….Came from the road… “And I know where YOU live nigger! Your house can burn down just as well as mine!” ….. It was then that I heard the shot and saw the little puff of smoke and all of us hit the ground except uncle… “Why, that nigger shot at me… Sherrena go up to the house and call the Law…” I got up off the dirt and walked towards the house… I noticed that the truck was pulling off…. Uncle then yelled at me to go up to the road and look for the shell casing off that bullet when I was done with the call….. I said yes sir and made the call… The police said they knew who my Uncle was as I explained with embarrassment…. And I told them that the trainer had left all ready… Then I went up to the road and after looking for 20 minuets, found no casing… The law went and got Uncle from his house later that evening and took him to jail… Seems the doctor had a bit more pull than Uncle….

Now this next story I need to tell with this one, or it just wouldn’t have the same significance....... I had been going to see my gynecologist about a little cosmetic surgery I wanted done… I won’t go into exactly what it was… (I did share this with a fellow blogger once before, but I refuse to tell again what I had done)… Let’s just say it was below the belt…. So I made plans and my doctor made arrangements to do the surgery at our local hospital because I had to be put to sleep for it…. The day before my surgery I was suppose to meet with the doctor that was to help do this…. I think you know what I’m leading up too… As I sat there, shifting around in my chair, looking at the doctor that my uncle had told she looked like a little man wearing pink lip stick, my heart was beating fast…. She asked me to open my mouth really wide and then she said she’d see me tomorrow…. The next morning I was really nervous… Doctor Bay had acted towards me like she hadn’t even known me! Remind you she kept her horses here for a long time and we had developed a small friendship… It was nothing like friends really but we spoke to each other and talked of horses sometimes when she and I would be at the stables at the same time…. The hospital asked me to get undressed and I was wheeled into the operating room…. Doctor Bay was the last face I remember seeing and then I woke up… I was confused and really couldn’t talk as they helped my husband load me into the passenger side of the car.. My hands were at my throat… On the way home I felt like I was coming around a bit more… “Oh my God” … I croaked … “What happened to my neck?”… My husband just looked at me… I got home and went to bed… I woke up that evening and the first thing my hands went to was my throat…. … I got up and saw my husband watching TV “Hey! What the fuck happened to my NECK!?… I feel like I been choked out!”… My husband then told me that I forgot to tell my doctor that I was a smoker… “Bull shit! I told him!” I spat out… “ What has that got to do with my neck? He was at the other end!”… My husband then went on to tell me that I had, in the recovery room, had a cramp in my neck under my jaw… from being a smoker… I sat there listening to this excuse with my head cocked sideways, my lips stretched thin and my eyes squinted…. He then told me that I had cost him extra money because I had to stay and hour more in the recovery room than first expected. Now I was thinking a lot of different things at once by this time…. I’m sure you already know what they were…. Needless to say I had no pain down there from the surgery… but the end that Dr. Bay was on sure suffered… I guess what comes around does go around… In one way or another.....

Yesterday my dog Eddie Earl decided to wear a little cologne. I noticed he had done a little extra to his self as he came running up after I let him out for his morning dump…. I have NO IDEA why dogs want to roll in dead things! As I gagged and scrubbed and gagged some more I couldn’t help thinking of Buster…..My husband had found Buster down by the river about 2 years ago… A Beagle. He brought him home and I looked at him and new that some one had loved him very much… I had contemplated on making a huge sign that read… I FOUND YOU’RE FAT OLD DOG… IF YOU WANT HIM BACK CALL *%^-*&^$ AND I’LL BE HAPPY TO RETURN HIM….. While I’ll was contemplating Buster just grew fatter…. He made friends with my big Old dog Big Easy and if they had been real men I think they would have played checkers together….. I fed him scraps and dog food every morning and every night… My husband took him hunting one day and came home with out him…. He said that Buster had stopped on the side of the road and refused to go into the brush… He said that he had to wait on him several times as he lounged along the cool grass and sat down several times for a break…. He then had got so disgusted that he left him! I was in a panic then… I ran out the door and called for him…. I found him all curled up in a ball next to his buddy and my Old dog Big Easy…. Warm as toast… “HE” had left my husband out there and came home as soon as my husband had went off into the woods with out him!….He had beat him home…. When my husband found out that Buster was lazy he decided that maybe Buster should be going home now…. He said he would take him to the nearest house on the spot on the river wear he had found him…. Surely if he had made a 5 mile journey home to our house he could find his way back to his own home!… That had been my husband’s reasoning…. So I said my goodbye’s to Buster and hugged and kissed him… I begged my husband not to take him…. I begged for him to please let me keep him… I said that 3 months had passed and No one had searched for him or put an add in the paper…. My husband was not moved… I believe him to be secretly mad at Buster over the hunting trip…. I watched as Buster ran back in forth in the back of the truck happy as could be…. Not knowing his fate…. Then I watched as they drove away…. That night it started to storm…. And it continued to rain until the next day… My husband had said he had dropped Buster back at the river in the exact same place he had found him and saw him run for a house…. I sat there looking out the window as he told me this…. My sadness almost making me cry…. The next day after the rain stopped I was sitting out side on my steps out back… My heart was still broke over that fat old dog…. I was thinking about him… how his rear end had grown so large that it looked like a pig’s ass…. And then I heard it…. RAAA OOOOOOLLLLLLLL …. RAAA OOOOOOOLLLLLLL…. It was Buster! He came running around the side of the house like he had been on a great adventure!… He had made the 10 mile trip back from the river…. Back FROM his real family and chose me over them! My husband who was at the barn looked up and I could see him looking at Buster Like … “You Bastard…” … That was when I decided to stand up for Buster…. I hadn’t at the beginning because he HAD been someone else’s dog… and they deserved him back…. But now he had chosen me! That evening my husband came with the leash for him…. We were on the back porch and I was brushing him….. I told him to get the hell out of here..… not Buster… my husband…. I told him that Buster had made it back here against all odds and that if he tried to take him from me again I would call the police and tell them…. He stood there looking at me a moment and then he then turned and went back in the house…. Buster had lived here with me ever since….Two years passed and then one day last month Buster walked off…. And never came home…. I looked for buzzards flying close by but there were none… I searched in the woods for him but to no avail. I keep expecting to hear his funny bark that sounds like some one yelling the name Raul…. But I don’t hear it…. Ah, where have you gone Buster…..I am not as sad this time as last…. I guess because I think he just decided to go die somewhere. Somewhere peaceful….

Well it’s a nice day today and I can’t stay inside and write like I would like… At a balmy 78 a person would just look crazy if they stayed in….. So out I go… See ya later……..