the life and times of sherrena by sherrena

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the life and times of sherrena

Saturday February 25, 2006

Farewell To You Bonnie Lass................

Today I found out that my cousin died.She was half Irish and Half Cicilian. She lived in California and had been suffering for the past 2 years with Cancer… Her brave fight is over…. I had to call my Uncle and Aunt to tell them how sorry I was… and I was taken back just a little at my Aunts curtness towards me. She did not seem happy to hear from me…. Matter of fact she tried to get off the phone with me in a hurry by pushing me off on my Uncle really fast. I let this slide by with out putting to much thought in it and finished my conversation and hung up… Then it dawned on me that they had not known about my transformation from a caterpillar into a butterfly. They still saw me as the girl in the stories I write about now. They had not known that I had grown up and became someone who cares about others instead of just my own well being. My Uncle had not let what I had been before stand between us though… He had talked to me and I heard Love in his voice for me…. He was amazed that I had called… He told me he didn’t understand why God had made his daughter suffer… I sat there and listened to him with out saying a word… I wanted to share with him things I was feeling but I didn’t want to complicate his thoughts any more than they already were… Instead… after we had hung up I asked my Computer why God let his children suffer before they died…. The answer that came back to me was Christian…. So I printed it up and I thought I would send it to him next time I write…. He is Christian… and I believe we all must understand in our own way… find the light with our own eyes…. And if I can help him to understand, then maybe I too could understand…. So this is my farewell to my cousin……Good bye Marie…..
"Wayfaring Stranger"

I am a poor wayfaring stranger
Traveling through this world alone
There is no sickness, toil or danger
In that fair land in which I go

I’m going home
To see my mother
I’m going home
No more to roam
I am just going over Jordan
I am just going over home

I know dark clouds will hover on me
I know my pathway is rough and steep
Beauteous fields lie right before me
Where weary eyes no more will weep
I’m going home to see my father
I’m going home no more to roam
I am just going over Jordan
I am just going over home

I’ll soon be free from every trial
This form will rest beneath the sun
I’ll drop the cross of self-denial
Come back home with God
I’m going home to see my savoir
I’m going home no more to roam
I am just going over Jordan
I am just going over home

Posted by sherrena at 5:21 PM - 4 Comments Add a Comment

Friday February 24, 2006

Hey!

My dog has been sitting next to a chair by my desk staring, for the past 25 minuets, at a half eaten peanut butter sandwich. As if secretly trying to will it off the plate and over to her watering mouth. She is a HOG! I made her, as well as the other 2 dogs their own sandwich. She ate hers and bullied the others out of there’s and then has been staring at mine now. I dare her to try to take it…. There has to be a pecking order here and I’m at the top! I saw a horrific documentary on HBO last night about dogs…. For someone that watches forensic files, autopsies and real medical surgeries, AND HAS NEVER HAD to look away, I found myself last night turning my head several times…… This kennel that made a living selling dogs to research companies had been treating the dogs inhumanly. To a degree I had never seen an animal treated…. They treated them like blocks of wood…. They starved them and butchered them sometimes just for the heart worms. His name was C.C. Baird… And he was from Arkansas. He made trips to flea markets and even bought stolen family pets…. From others called “ Bunchers”… even stolen hunting dogs and dogs that had just wondered up in a “poor” mans yard and he saw a 20 dollar bill standing there instead of someone’s beloved friend…. I felt that the least I could do for those animals that couldn’t be saved was to watch their suffering…. I swear I wanted to take legal action my self against that man before the program was over! Turns out he does get a little slap on the wrist but I thought he should have went to prison for what he did!…… And to every other Stupid Red neck and hillbilly that doesn’t have the since to know that animals are not to be treated like your dirty bacon striped underwear that you leave all over the floor of your nasty little trailer…. You don’t deserve a dog!…. So go hunt your squirrels and coons down with out them!…. That last comment was directed to that whole town in Arkansas and to this idiot I know down the street from me….. You know who you are Cole!…

Posted by sherrena at 1:31 PM - 5 Comments Add a Comment

Thursday February 23, 2006

If tomorrow never comes.............

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She’s lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

(chorus)

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she’s my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
’cause I’ve lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there’s no second chance to tell her how I feel

*chorus*

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you’re thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

I heard this song on the radio as I drove to the Piggly Wiggly this morning…. I thought of Butch…. And even though almost 20 years had passed between us and there had been 20 years in the difference in our ages I had continued to love him after all these years…. He would be 60 now… And then AT the Piggly Wiggly a couple of nice looking distinguished men about his age came in and I made eye contact with the man in the front… I didn’t look away and nether did he…. I smiled my best smile… the one I use to practice on when I was a teenager… It worked and then I looked at the check out lady who was looking at me with one eye brow raised…. She really ruined the moment….. I had known every word to that song as it played and not sang a word…. And then it came to me that the short time we had spent together HAD been enough….enough to last near 20 years so far…We had lived as if tomorrow WOULD never come…. He is the only relationship that I have never had any regrets from….

Remember my trusty treasure hunter? Some of you may not recall it... I got it for Christmas…On my way home from the store I saw Mr. Jones. That’s really his name…. He was at his “real” job, working for the high way department flagging cars by… His other job is training horses…. like his father and his father before him…. As he flagged me to stop I waved at him and he stepped up to the window…. We said our hellos and in the conversation I casually mentioned the detector I got…. He then told me that there is an Indian Burial Ground right on the property where I live…. I don’t think I want to try my luck with those spirits after I find something of theirs….. I wonder what he would have thought if I had said …. “ OH yeah!…. And after I could go down in the cemetery in town! I’m sure they don’t have a law against grave robbing!” I think that if someone buried something in a cemetery it should stay buried. Not end up in some ones pocket as a key chain ornament. I would like to find “lost” things…. Old boxes full of money would do…. Or confederate Gold or silver from the civil war…. I think someday I would like to live by the ocean… and every morning get up and use it to comb the beach for hidden things the Ocean pushed up in its waves….. And every evening watch the sun set with someone very sweet and nice…..

Posted by sherrena at 2:56 PM - 3 Comments Add a Comment

Salad to soup......

This next day in the “life of ME” started like any other….. I had lived in Cockrell Hill and was making potatoes salad and didn’t have a pickle… The events that followed were all because of that pickle….. I remembered that the man at the corner store sold those huge packaged pickles for the kids because I hadn’t had time to run all the way to the Kroger… I got in my car and drove over and got it…. As I was crossing the intersection I noticed there by the bus stop was a small child… I looked around for his mother but I saw NO ONE! I pulled to the side of the road and went over and picked him up….As I stood there holding him a lot of things were rushing through my mind all at once…. Like, where was his mother, how did he come to be on Davis St? In Cockrell Hill Texas! And OH MY GOD, MY POTATO SALAD! And just as I looked up I saw an Oak Cliff policeman stopping at the red light so I flagged him down… I told him that I found this little dirt boy that was beginning to smell bad and then I tried to hand him off… The policeman told me that he was not the law in my city and I needed to call someone that was! Yes He did! He then pulled away… He didn’t even offer to call for me! I looked around and saw 2 young boys on bicycles and called them over…I asked them if they knew how to dial 911... One did the other didn’t…. I told him to call and say there was a baby in the street… He said there wasn’t so why would he say that… I said ok… tell them a woman FOUND a baby in the street!… his reply was that he would but that wasn’t a baby… he looked older than any baby he had ever seen!… truth was the boy was Spanish and looked to be about 2 years old…. He was wearing little gold rings yet he was filthy….After rummaging through my trunk and finding my car cover I sat it in the seat and made him sit on it… He smelled pretty ripe for the picking’s…. I tried to give him the pickle I had got for my salad but it caused him to make a face that was unreal!… then I looked on the package and saw it was a sour one…. CRAP! I thought it was a dill! I chunked it out the window were it made a splat sound on the curb and this made him laugh… We sat there waiting for the police for what seemed like hours… I believe it was about 45 minuets… but it seemed like hours! And then they came….I saw them and jumped from my car grabbing him up at the same time! I practically ran for them holding him out to them as words spilled out on how I had come to find him…. To my utter amazement they showed no interest in taking him from me!… Matter of fact they asked me to return with him to my car and sit and wait until they sorted this thing out!.. I refused!.. I told him that I could be a killer or something much worse!… He told me to just go sit in my car. I got the look on my face… you know the one…like I just smelled something bad… and I went back to my car with the little boy…. An hour later a small boy on a skate board told the police as he was passing by that he knew the little boys brother…They returned him to his mother who said she had not seen him leave the kitchen… funny thing though… there house had been 2 miles from mine… I only lived around the corner from where I had found him… His legs were short… His attention span short as well… He couldn’t have made a 2 mile walk very fast! He had sat with me for almost 2 hours!… “I” estimated his time gone from home well over 5 hours… His mother had not “NOTICED” that he had gone?… Had not even realized that there had been a crisis until the police were knocking at the screen door holding her child in there arms( which was shocking because those guys did not want to hold that kid with a shitty diaper on!)… The police thanked me and I made sure to run over the pickle I had thrown next to the curb…..It sounded like running over a frog as I made an illegal U turn in front of them to get back to my street… I returned home to my salad which had turned into soup and burned on the bottom…I lived in an upstairs apartment so when I threw it out my kitchen window it landed directly under my neighbors window. She had thrown a chicken carcass out HER window the week before and I had to listen to cats fighting over it all night! So I wanted her to get a taste of her own medicine!… To bad my salad/soup ended up in her flower box under her window instead of on the grass under the window….She came to talk about it with me afterwards and I said … “Ahhhh, what a shame about your flowers… I guess those cats fighting over that nasty O’ chicken carcass last week tore up your flower box and shit potatoe soup all in it.”….. To err is only human right?.. (wink)

Posted by sherrena at 12:02 PM - 2 Comments Add a Comment

Wednesday February 22, 2006

Small like a nugget is why.........

The milkman use to come to my house….. He did! And to about half the people’s house on our block. I remember his truck and how the bottles clinked together as he walked up to our house… My mother never bought ice cream and as he climbed in his truck he would give me and my brother a chocolate covered ice cream bar. It seems that only visiting back home and staying in the actual house I grew up in brought a lot of my memories back from when I was a child…. Like running behind the mosquito truck as it blew out its toxic fumes, deeply inhaling.…. Shooting my brother in the ass with a pellet gun pumped up about 50 times, because I had nothing better to do…. Watching the kid next door beat the hell out of his own mother a few times and then my personal favorite… My little brother and my self saw Cher get out of a long limo and walk up to a house that was 3 houses down from my dad’s. (I was told this was an annual thing but I only saw it the once)… and then after we saw that we made a point to get to know the kid that lived there. I don’t remember exactly what he was to her but I knew he had went to California to spend a summer with her and he had actual photographs of him roller skating with some one in the Kiss rock band and of course her. What I remember most about that kid was his hair turned green during the summer that we knew him. The neighbor hood swimming pool never kept their water right…. And as a result he suffered….. We never got to meet Cher… And touching the photos were as close as we were getting to her actual self…. Not that I gave a shit really… but it is nice to meet someone famous for once in your life…. ……. I’m still waiting……Since then I have SEEN many famous people…. But never spoke to them or met them…. Maybe that’s how its suppose to be….. Only seeing the sparkle of the star from a far…. So you’re not blinded by the shear intensity of the light…………………… I remember a few weird guys in my neighborhood…. I’m sure you had the same ones if you think back…. They just had different names…. Nugget comes to mind… I’m not making his name up… that’s really what we called him…Well what his parents called him and the name stuck… He lived 2 streets over and had a little brother MY little brothers age… Funny thing about Nugget though… Seems like every one of US went to school with him!….. Now, mind you ,there is 3 years in age between all of us…. And every one of us saw Nugget at school on a daily basis! He road a bicycle and wore a cowboy hat with a big feather hat band around it. His bike was equipped with a basket that he kept his hand held walky talky in too talk to fellow CB er’s. One day my brother asked him if he was going squirrel hunting and he casually told my brother… “ The only squirrel around hea is you!”…. So I don’t think he was as stupid as he let on …. Then there was the guy that built a lawn mower engine onto his bicycle and road it around the neighborhood… huge billows of tail pipe smoke following behind him…. Then one day we didn’t notice him…. My brother told me that’s how you know someone dies….You stop seeing ’em. I didn’t see Nugget when I went home last…. I did remember his words as I passed by his mothers house…. “ I’m gone a get my brodder Steve!…..You got a CB?… I got one…”… My dad had a citizen band radio… and yes he had a huge ass tower, that you could see poking up a half a mile, hooked on to the back of our suburban house…. I never said we were classy people…. But the 70’s were the 70’s…… I remember I came home from school to my aunts crying because Elvis had died… I was going to marry him damn it!… was all I thought at the time….. I kept on loving Elvis though….And Jerry Lee Lewis….I don’t wish to be older… but I wish I could just live one day in the 50’s…. See one afternoon of the pastel colored houses and all the old cars…. I hated that my dad wasn’t Ward Clever!… The truth is they lived up the street and WE were the Haskell’s!.. If Eddie would have had a sister I would have been HER!… And I hated that… I hated it so bad that when I got my first car…. A white 1972 white pinto, with a blue left fender and green interior, I parked it around back and hopped the fence because we were the last row of houses on the block on our side of the street and there was an ally way for the garbage man…. My car out front meant I was part of the family inside!…. My dad had not got me a nice car… mine had come from the salvage yard because my dad got a good deal… damn the fact it popped and made noise when you put the break on AND shifted the gears…. Now I look at my dad and think to myself …. AH you sweet old man…. I love you so much…. I’m sorry I was ashamed of you when I was growing up and I had wished you to be more like Leave it to Beavers dad………..

“I aint ahead, nor never will be

Till the sweet apple grows

On a sour apple tree”

Posted by sherrena at 10:27 PM - 2 Comments Add a Comment

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About Me

Author: sherrena
From southern, USA

This blog is about...
me...my feeling's about thing's and my life...So really a diary.

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