Ok...I was in this truck stop in Texas...I had used the truck drivers radio before he got off the freeway and another truck pulled to the side of the road and I did a switch..I finaly made it to Ft. Worth. I had planed on calling my brother to come pick me up but I met Butch over by the pay phone. He was a cowboy. Twice my age. The moment I saw him I knew that I would be taking a ride with him....A long ride. An 11 month ride. One that I would remember for the rest of my life. We had good times...no bad one's. He taught me how to drive and we spent a lot of time going to sale barns in the middle of the night to pick up cow's. That's what he did...he drove a cow truck. This might be a bit personal to tell but he had 3 nut's. You know.....guy's usualy only have 2 so I asked him about it once. He told me he had been standing above the cattle run..(the shoot the cattle are loaded with)...and a horn had hooked him right between the legs!...dang...that had to have hurt huh?....Well time went on and it came to Christmas time and he told me that he had to go home this time for Christmas...He wanted to know if I too had family to go too. We had never talked of family...strange as I look back on it now...but our world was inside the cab of his truck...He and I....living life like there wasnt a tomorrow. I told him I did have family and asked where his lived...he told me Austin. Then he told me something that broke my heart in 20 pieces...I know becasue I counted them for nearly 15 years. He told me that his wife and daughter would be glad to see him after almost a year. I swollowed a big lump and smiled. I let him drop me off in Waco...I couldn't bare to go home....I got out at a truck stop just like I had got in...And I watched him drive away until I couldnt see his truck anymore...This time I didn't have the heart to ask for a ride anywhere...I picked up my bag and went into the dinner and sat down to eat...I asked for A job before I left and got it...I slept in the truck stop next door in there TV room for trucker's in a chair for a week before I had enough money to get a room...He came back....But it was to tell me that he loved me....and that he would alway's.....again I swollowed a lump and smiled....then we spent one last night together....then he was gone....I think of him a lot...He would be 60 now...I dont care...I will love him forever.....and forever is a long time isnt it?.....

Hey, where did we go
Days when the rains came ?
Down in the hollow
Playing a new game,
Laughing and a-running, hey, hey,
Skipping and a-jumping
In the misty morning fog with
Our, our hearts a-thumping
And you, my brown-eyed girl,

You, my brown-eyed girl.
Whatever happened
To tuesday and so slow
Going down to the old mine with a
Transistor radio.
Standing in the sunlight laughing
Hide behind a rainbow’s wall,
Slipping and a-sliding
All along the waterfall
With you, my brown-eyed girl,
You, my brown-eyed girl.

Do you remember when we used to sing
Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah
Just like that
Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah
La dee dah.

So hard to find my way
Now that I’m all on my own.
I saw you just the other day,
My, how you have grown!
Cast my memory back there, lord,
Sometime I’m overcome thinking about
Making love in the green grass
Behind the stadium
With you, my brown-eyed girl,
You, my brown-eyed girl.

Do you remember when we used to sing
Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah
Laying in the green grass
Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah
Dee dah dee dah dee dah dee dah dee dah dee
Sha la la la la la la la la la la la la
Dee dah la dee dah la dee dah la
D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d...

This song remind me of a cowboy that I spent 11 months with...I think I will tell you about him in my next post...I think you might enjoy reading about the love of my life...Believe this or not but he wasnt "damaged" in his mind....lol

I wish you could have saw my husband last night....All drunk...eye's cocked like a pistol...slurring his words...It seem's to me that that should be one of the most embarrassing situations that a person could put their self through...and in front of your wife or girl!...I personaly feel if you want to get drunk then DO IT ALONE!...SAVE OTHER'S THE EMBARRASSMENT of having to look at you the next day!....That's just my thought's on it...I got drunk last year around May or so....and yes I followed my own advise!..lol..I guess it wouldn't work on a social drinker though...lol..but then again what exactly is that anyway....drunks in groups?....

Has there ever been a day when you just lost it? I mean you just saw red..A blinding rage...Well this has happened to me twice and both time my children were involved. Oh they wernt children at the time but young adults..that in no way excuses my action's on those day's but young adults can push button's children cant, if you know what I mean. This day started whith my son puking in the front yard on the way to school and this in turn killed 5 of my pullets..(dont ask...it's gross what happened)...I had raised those bird's from egg's. NO I'M NOT THE BIRD LADY!...any way I was pretty hot when he got home from school...He was 17 at the time and already towered over my like 2 feet. I said HEY!...What have I told you about useing my front yard for your toilet!...He tryed to walk past me but i jumped in his way...I then told him to take the shovel and scoop up all the dog poop and throw it over the fence..This had never been his job..alway's mine..So he grabbed the shovel and sunk it down in the dirt about 4 inches and when he came up with it that pile of poop was sitting right on top of a nice big beauiful chunk of my grass that I had been babying!...I screemed not like that!...but he did it again really fast before I could get over there to him...When I finaly did make it to him I grabbed the shovel and tryed to yank it away from him but he held it..I pulled even harder but he still held it...I then screemed to him ..."LET GO!"..and it seems to me that he aimed that handle before he did! I yanked it back right into my face and it clipped me on the chin...Now this is when things get a bit blurry for me because rage had boiled over....I hadn't realized that I had made a fist and swung it until it conected..But rage had still not consumed me I still was holding on to my temper.....untill I heard his laughter...That's when I lost all controll and I just started slugging him and slapping him and kicking him anywhere I could...I didn't remember that part, he and my husband told me later..If you can believe this...I didn't hurt him...He told me later he had laughed because it had felt like a four year old hitting him...He HAD hurt me though...in more ways that one...My chin hurt from me slamming the shovel into myself ..(which is like someone grabbing your hand and slapping your own face with it)..and that rage that I never expected. AND ON MY OWN BLOOD!..My son is a good boy..Even now he calls me and we talk and laugh and  tells me how much he loves me...We have NO problems he and I. He too came to live with me when he was old enough to decide where he wanted to live. I had been his mother from birth to 4 years old and then again when he turned 12...So the years had not been as long as with my daughter and I......who by the way called me today to tell me I was a bitch. She's a bit upset because Im taking her husband's side over her's when it comes to the care of my grand daughter. He promises me the world for my grand child!...My daughter promises to drag her through her fucked up life drinking and doing drugs...What choice did I have!...If there is a better way Tell me!...I will try it!...I think back at myself and I was in the exact place that she is in now when I was her age. I didn't drag them through all my drug addicted boyfriend's.... I wanted better for them...