There were a few times in my life when things were just clicking..not many..but a few. One Of these times was just after I had moved from Dallas. Now that in itself was a plus. Dallas was....Well it just "was". I moved to Ft.Worth with my little brother. He sorta had a commune going. Almost every room in the house was made into a bed room. My room was the living room..lol..I loved it really. I had moved my boyfriend in, who is now my husband and "HE" had moved his cousin in...Now the cousin was a strange one. His family called him Bubby so that's the name that we called him too...He had a bad drinking problem and on several occasions, ok every night, he and my boy friend would drink...I found this nerve racking because we lived directly across the street from the police station..One night Bubby got the bright idea to drink some cough syrup after consuming a bottle of mad dog 20/20 and finding his pockets empty for more....He had called my husband/boy friend ,at the time, into his room and he broke the seal on it...I was in the kitchen so I really don't know how this next thing happened...Instead of a wood door across his room he had a blanket for a door...I saw him stumbling through the door with his arms flayling like he was on fire...He wasn't...No smoke..Instead he had red dripping all down his chin and down the front of his shirt..my husband was behind him and grabbed him around the waist, picking him up and dropping him hard on the floor like he was practicing some kind of wrestling move...I swear my first thought was that Bubby and my husband were fighting. I yelled "Stop it!..His mouth is bleeding!"...But then my husband said he was choking...I knew my husband was not doing that choking maneuver right So I screemed to Bubby to run across the street..That the police would help him..He must of thought this to be a good idea but by the time he reached the curb he dropped to one knee...I thought Oh shit...He's not going to make it...But he leaned over and threw up...and out came the plastic tamper proof plasic!...He was holding it in his hand when he came back up to the house...a big smile on his face.."Think I aught to sue?".....I told him better not...they might sue you....He said for what...I said for being an idiot.

I think that this blog is helping me to NOT push everything so deep down.You know...until it manifests it's self into a real health problem, when you have to see a "real" doctor to fix it..I want to share my phone conversation last night. I will not change the names to protect the innocent because there are no innocent except my grand daughter and her name is just to beautiful to change.

"Mother...Phillip wont give Launa back"

"Oh yeah?....Why is that?"

"He said someone called him and told him I was on drugs! Did you do that Mother!"

"Nope...Are you?"

"Fuck NO! Why Do you Alway's think the worst of me!?"

"How is Launa?"

Silence..............

"How is Launa?"

" I don't know because Phillip wont give her back!..Call him and tell him to give her back TO ME!"

"Oh Meg.....What have you done?......."

CLICK........................I hung up on her. I had to!...I was fixing to say I TOLD YOU SO!...I TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE HER TO TEXAS AND LEAVE HER WITH THOSE PEOPLE! (she can't even understand them) I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO DRUGS!...I TOLD YOU NOT TO LIE!...I HATE YOU!....I HATE YOU FOR GIVING MY GRAND DAUGHTER TO PEOPLE SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW!Those were my true feeling's and that's why I hung up.. My friend Sylvia would probably be mortified to hear that's how I really felt towards my own daughter..She loves her's...Beyond belief...I wish I had that too with my daughter but I don't....Mine really does have a heart of stone...And I think there's even a layer of thick ice coating that rock she calls a heart.