The weekend was just to full of stuff for me to write about all at one time..My husband didn't start drinking really good until about 9pm on New Year's Eve. I noticed he kept looking over at me to see if I was paying attention to how much he was consuming.It never stop's amazing me how drunk people act...The slured talk..the looking at you with one eye...and I've noticed that someone drunk just can NOT lie!..I think it's to hard of a thought process for them..I watched them all up near a mic singing Kareoke... AND that was a riot let me tell you!..and when it came time to sing the New Year's song. Well, let me type to you what I heard...."should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind!...la da da ma da la ma ba da in day's of old anjuine!" Anjuine! what in the hell is that word?..It was just pathetic...PATHETIC I tell you!Yet I laughed. Maybe that's wrong to laugh at the drunk's on new Year's but I found it quite refreshing......................Now here is the pay back for laughing at them.......we left about 4:30pm and we drove back pretty much in silence because my husband still had a head ache..( ) and the trip was pretty uneventful until I got almost to our drive way..I could see something sorta large on the side of the road/in the road and I pulled to the middle of the road to miss it...BUT in the middle of the road was, what looked to me to be, a stick. I swear I thought it was a small stick! So as my husband was screaming for me to swerve to miss it I thought nothing of just driving over it. What a mistake that was!..turns out it was a deer antler that someone had been using to call deer and what had been on the side of the road had been that someone's camo gear!...The antler went up into my husband's Brand New 200 dollar tire...yes he has twenty's..(what ever the hell that mean's) and yes I said I was sorry...But that didn't stop him from pacing back and forth throwing his hands up in the air...He cussed like it "hadn't" been an accident...And then I think the yelling got to much for his head and he said"I will Yell more at you about this tomorrow!" and went in the house and went to bed.

While I was there "marci" had talked about her brother over in Iraq..Wow!..It was amazing to me to hear about him over there being a man!...The last time I saw him he was squated down behind a pickup truck sticking a crawdad up the tail pipe...And now he has a gun.. and a licence to use it .I have no pity for those insurgent's they turned him loose on..he he...I wonder how there going to like the ole crawdad up the tail pipe trick?....

Well I was right..My husband had a drink for each and everyone of you...We went to the coast for a New Year's Party..The drive took 3 hour's so when we got there we got a hotel room. The Town we went to was pretty small and we didn't have a choice really on where we could stay..only one place I noticed as we pulled up that the "T" and the "E" on the hotel sign light's were burnt out..That should have been a warning to us...HOL all in light's...and it was a HOLE!..we stayed 2 night's and on the second night the ac went out...a man beat his girlfriend...and I'm not sure but it looked like a gay man, wearing a maternity shirt, was selling drug's in the parking lot, when I looked out the window.. The first night we stayed we got back around 3am so I really didn't notice all the rif raff hanging around but the second night I got back around 10 pm and my door card wouldn't open the door...the battery to the door was dead so I had to wait out side by my door for 20 or so minutes for the desk clerk to come open the door...that's when I noticed what was going on around me.. I know!..Fine time to start now!...Needless to say I didn't get much sleep.

My husband made an ass out of me. Oh...I think about 5 times...But I will try to tell you about just this one for now...It took 3 hour's to get there so on the way down we got in about 20 argument's. Give or take. I told him that if he made me the butt of his jokes or if he used me, mater of factly, to remember one of his stupid jokes that I would never go any where with him again.(he has a bad habit of looking strait at me and saying..."That remind's me...have yall ever heard this joke about this blond and...............")...now I ask you...Do you think he kept his word?.... aaaaaaaa NO!...So while he stood there yucking it up with his buddy's I snuck off and got baked with (some name's have been changed to protect the innocent.. ) Marcie. Yes I had a wonderful time and yes I was paranoid and yes I was afraid my husband would smell it on me...But ...But....But... I don't know about you but life isnt so great that I can live it in 3D color....Let's just say that I had a great time at that precise moment and leave it at that.

I want to say Happy New Year to everyone!...I'm not a drinker but I'm sure my husband will have a drink for each and everyone of you...(He'll drink to anything)...A few night's ago he got a a bottle of champain..really I think it was champipple or something cheat like that..and he came home and said he wanted to drink it with me because I did a little phone work for him and made him some money...He's really happy when he makes money ..any way I had a headache...a bad one..and I told him I didn't think I should drink anything because it might make it worse..He then waited for me to go to bed and drank the whole thing his self!..plus a lot of beer!...I was so happy he felt bad the next day...That's mean huh?...

I see the high for today is 68. WOW!...it's very cold every year where I'm from!..This is amazing to me!...New year's eve will be 72...WOW again!...

I woke up this morning and didn't know it was wednesday and it wasn't because i was delirious or dazed like I have been known to get some times. I just simply have not been paying attention.

I miss talking to those soldier's!...I miss it bad!...I use to get up and come strait in here to find them. Iraq time is like 8 hour's infront of us so my morning was their night..or close to it. I think mostly what I miss, are all the conversation's with them. How they alway's payed attention to what I had to say and asked question's accordingly is something that NEVER happens here at my house....AND YES IT IS SOMETHING when a REAL man is intrested in just talking to you and getting to know you..I'm not saying ALL the soldier's are like that...but the one's I had picked to talk to where...and I miss them like ....(5 min. have passed)..I don't know how I miss them with out ever knowing them!.....I just know that I feel something missing. something gone and it's them. My friend's.

My daughter has still not braught my grand daughter here for christmas!...This will sound SO uncaring but I'm going to say it any way. I don't miss my daughter...not at all...I miss my grand daughter!...I think about her every day and the more I do the more angry I get at my daughter. I want to tell you a little story that happened about 4 year's ago......

I was at work when My brother called one day and said that someone from a school in Ft.Worth called him wanting to know if he could have me call them about my daughter. I was a little shocked because she was 15 and never really carred about getting to know me...Her Father would never let her leave with me and the few times I had went to visit he had made me stand on the front porch..anyway...I called the school and they had said my daughter was in a little trouble and could I come to the school. I then told them I was not her legal guardian and that they needed to call her father too...they then told me that she had oppted to NOT call him...
I didn't know a kid had those kind's of right's...anyway I went there and they told me some long cock in bull story that she had told them (she is a bad lier in every way) I was shocked and really didn't know what to say...I asked her if she wanted to come live with me and she said she did so I drove her to her house and waited on the porch while she got her thing's...Her Dad came out crying and saying a few thing's but I just stood there and said nothing..I mean Nothing!...I never said one word to any of them. She had a little trash sack full of some clothes that looked like boy's clothes..I looked at it after we got home and thought this just will not do..I took her shopping at the mall and it wasn't cheep..We had to let the sale's girl really pick thing's for her because She didn't really know how to dress like a 15 year old girl and the times had changed since I was that age..It ended up costing me A lot of money that I didn't mind spending for a change and I checked her in school and she had a new start..She in turn repayed me by bringing mexican boy's home and fooling around with them behind the hay bail's and going from a strait A student to failing P.E and everything in between. She then started running away and skipping school...this inturn got me in trouble. The last time she ran away she braught back a mexican with her and said she was going to have a baby..this later turned out to be a lie...So I signed a paper saying she could marry him. I stood there with them as she giggled and really didn't pay attention to the judge...tear's were streaming down my face and it wasn't from happyness either! The judge then asked him to put a ring on her finger and he stood there like a dumb ass. I took my own ring off my finger and gave it to him..(one my grand mother had givin me after my Mom had died)..and He slipped it on her finger. Ater it was all over with and we were leaving I told them to give me my ring back. I was so mad by then and I new that it would just end up at the pawn shop and I just couldn't stand for my mother's ring to be there and then sold...There marriage lasted all of 5 weeks. He called one day and said he didn't want her any more. I screemed at him..It doesnt work that way fucker!...you wanted her Now keep her! You just can't give her back!...You are responcible for my CHILD NOW!...I told you she was a child! and Now I'm telling YOU that you are a pedophile!..(he was a lot older than her) He then told me there was no baby...and I felt sick..I mean puke dog sick...And I felt rage all at the same time. I wanted both of them to suffer in there bed that they had made...How dare they trick me like that!...I just hung the phone up and went in the bathroom and threw up....She never really came back to live with me...She came here this time for me to pay for an abortion...I did it because I didn't want another child to suffer...maybe I shouldn't have...the day I took her to that clinic was a sad day...while she was in there for those hour's I went and baught me a glass butterfly...I guess it's a symbol of my grand child that never was.....damn....I feel like crying now....See!...That girl gives me NOTHING but pain and heart ache!...See why I don't miss her?!