Well today's mail brought a card from my mother-in-law...Last year's said merry Christmas and then a long list of ailment's that she and her husband have developed. I saved the card and broke it out a few times to laugh at it with assorted relatives through the year...Ok..because this made me feel better and that's why I turned it in to a joke. This got back to her,I was hoping, and this year's card only read love mother...not mom and Dave...But Mother...I'm a horrible mean spiteful person!...And the card my husband got from his daughter went in the trash because it didn't have my name on it too... told you I was spiteful..In my defence I've been working on being a better person and I have to say IT"S FUCKING HARD!..Once I heard about this man that wanted to change the world..later he realized that he couldn't..he could only change himself....and that,in itself,is VERY HARD!..I think this might be one of my new year's resolution's.Along with the useual stop smoking and weight loss resolution that I can't ever stick too! I break my own word to myself!(and your only as good as your word)...I wish there was an easy way to raise someone's self esteem. Some kind of magic word...I think If I felt a little better about myself I just might keep those promises that I make at the end of the year.
So I was watching tv this afternoon.A borring thing about book binding that I really thought was intresting (what Have I come too?)..
My soldier's are almost all gone now...all came home...I'm really happy for them...I wonder if they think of me... ..Hopefuly I did as much for them as they did for me..But we will never know I guess.....

Awwwwww WHAT A DAY! The sun is warm and bright and I have a new friend!...I don't want to JINX my self, just yet, by talking about it..but I can say this...I feel like I just took a deep breath after the wind had been knocked out of me.
I found out where my husband had been when my daughter came home last night. She said they had went out to eat and have a few drink's afterward's..her,him and a friend of his. At this place where you can do both. I said to him...YOUR A LIER!...you lied when you didn't even have too! And why does a man do that?...BECAUSE HE KNOW'S IT'S WRONG AND HE'S TRYING TO HIDE IT!......The wrong part came when he left ME AT HOME!..and then told tell me that he got food to go...oh well...I'm not going to bother my self with his drama any more..
My son has been calling every day to make sure I have been doing HIS christmas shopping..Buying him the thing's he want's..that sorta stuff...I listen to his list like i'm getting it all down...ha ha...He's getting a gift card from Sear's...So He can pick all that stuff out his self... ....It's much better than sending all those gift's through the mail!...
I hope this day just keep's getting better and better!

A couple of night's ago my husband said he was going to the store. He didn't come back for 5 hour's . Now I didn't call around for him or anything and when he got back I didn't ask him where he had been. Even though he clearly had NOT went to the store. In a way,I really couldn't care less where he had been..
Last night the alarm to our house went off. I didn't even know we had service with a company. So you can guess how bad it scared me when it happened. I didn't know what it was at first. So I woke my husband up. This,turn's out,was a mistake!..He screemed and yelled over the loud noise making it worse. I could hardly think while I was reading the instruction's on the wall box. I did manage to get the out side alarm off. He then tryed to make the inside alarm go off.(by reaching over my shoulder and pushing all the button's on the key pad at the same time) which turned the outside alarm back on! HELL I CAN DO "BAD" BY MYSELF! I don't need any help for that!..So finaly the phone ring's. A man at the other end hear's my husband cussing and gives me the code number's really quick...awwww..bless his heart...and then it's quiet. All of two second's....As soon as I hung the phone up my husband accused me of touching the key pad just so I would have to wake him up! I didn't even know it made a sound!...Why would I do such a thing?...He think's of me as HIS CHILD!...I can't count how many times I've screemed in his face that He was not my FATHER!....my Father is a better man than my husband. My feeling's on men treating a woman like a child are this: Children grow up and leave...and so will a woman when she get's tierd of being treated like a child.

Well this is the first time I've ever felt bad about returning something to a store. First let me say that I think Walmart need's to change it's name to "we fix our broken shit and sell it to you at full price". I can't tell you how many time's that I have had to return thing's from there.I got a movie from there a few day's ago and When I got home and pulled it out of it's little paper sheeth to cut the clear wrapping off, I noticed that someone already had. So I opened the case and there wasn't a movie in it! It never occurred to me to inspect it before I bought it.So when I returned it I felt a little bad for them.I don't know why exactly.I was prepaired with this speach about how someone slole it and I had bought an empty case from them for 20 buck's...The lady snatched it from my hand's and looked inside before I could open my mouth...She then TOLD me there was nothing in there.. ..And then said..."you bought it like that?"..I just shook my head yes and she gave me my money back. That simple. My son said "ha ha...you'll never get your money back mom...don't even try"...I guess it pay's to try is what I told him when I got back.

What do you think Bob Marley ment when he sang the song "No woman No cry"?....I have read the word's over and over and I have come to the conclusion that He just wanted his woman friend not to cry.( Are there men out there that care if a woman cry's?..) and that everything would be allright. Simple word's with great powerful meaning...I my self have never known a man that cared if a woman cry'd. Even my Father had told me to "suck it up"..as I was growing up..he treated me like he treated my brother's...that's what he had said to them and that's what he had said to me...I had been no different to him really..Crying was for the weak. And come to think of it I never saw my mom cry to much. A few times...But not much.I tryed the crying bit on a few Of the guy's I had been with. Nope...it never worked.